You know how you catch someone looking you up and down, or their eyes dart to a place they shouldn’t be, and there’s that awkward moment? They’re awkward because they wonder if they were busted (no pun intended) and you’re awkward because you know you just busted them. What the heck do you say? Usually nothing.
<>Well, today I busted the Nanny giving me the once over. But honestly, I can’t blame her. You see, I was wearing one of my usual, not-thought-out-at-all-just-so-it’s-comfortable kind of outfits. It must have been especially dorky looking because she never does that…she’s used to it. What she doesn’t know is that I really do know how to dress if I have to. With her it’s not awkward because she’s pretty much one of the family. So I said to her, ‘What’s wrong? You don’t like my outfit?’ and she just laughed. Then she told me that she was going to submit me to one of those makeover shows. And I laughed.
My mom loves those shows and I told her if she EVER thought about submitting me to one of those shows it would be the last thing she ever did. You see, my closet could totally use a makeover but the thing is, it would be wasted on me. I’d go right back out and buy comfy sweat pants and t-shirts because that is what I like. Not because of how they look but how they feel. It takes years to get a pair of sweat pants to where they feel the best…not light and fluffy anymore but just good old worn in cotton. You know what I’m talkin’ about. Also, why spend more than you have to when you’re going to be working with flying glass that can potentially burn little holes into clothing that just enlarge with every washing?
I wore jeans to torch once and had my trusty towel in my lap but it must have slid off because teeny tiny pieces of hot glass did hit my pants and I didn’t think anything of it. They (whoever they are) teach you that the best thing to wear when you’re riding a motorcycle is either leather or denim because if you wipe out, it will protect you most when your body skids along the pavement. I thought it should work the same way with teeny tiny particles of hot flying glass, right? Well let me tell you…it only takes one teeny tiny piece of hot flying glass to burn through one little string in your jeans…and it looks like nothing. But wash those babies a few times and they start to form into holes as the threads around that one broken thread come undone.
But anyway, back to the makeover show. I was thinking that I would be mortified if I were ever on one of those shows. But then I thought, ‘You big dummy, you have to ACCEPT being on one of those shows…they can’t FORCE you.’ Whew. Hey, don’t laugh at me…those of you that are self-employed and can work in your jammies or run to the store in your slippers, DO. I’m not the only one here that dresses for comfort.